Preface
This is a story based on some of my experiences and some based on friends but relates to some of the real life characters and incidents and similarity to any living or dead is co-incidental and just to show how life is and not to let down or tarnish anybody’s image. If my work has offended anyone I apologize and was not intended. The base of the story the emotional turmoil a guy goes through the different stages of his life.
This is a work of fiction and the characters are inspired and the incidents mentioned here are fictitious.
It was the summer of 2009, a very harsh and unfriendly weather out here in
Reshmi my Childhood crush or puppy love as u can say ,
Shobha my first love at work and
Suma…the one i shared everything and understood what love really means and wanted to settle down with ... but i never thought i would have to go to the wedding of these three 3 women. But as usual man thinks something and destiny decides something else for him.
3 weddings in 3 months
Reshmi- July 2009
Shobha - November 2009
Suma - August 2009
Should I attend or not a question i have not been able to decide, one part of me says i should not attend as it may prove a disaster and other part kept saying you would need to attend... each one has played an important role in my life...
Reshmi G Nair 1997-2004
Each time I see Reshmi I go into a different world together i remember the stupid things i have done.
Reshmi- was my first crush which carried on for 7 years. I never thought I would be so crazy for her. It was during 1997 that I met her; she was my class mate in 7th grade. I still remember those days... to show off i used to borrow my friend's cycle which had no brakes roam giving all poses. During those days our school inside Air Force station, residential area, and this was a very beautiful with a lot of mango trees and we used to have competitions on who would pluck maximum number of mangoes from each tree, might seem so stupid now but those times the innocent minds never knew that it wasn't such a big deal. Yes again I have always lost in that too never could pluck more than 3 when others used to pluck 8 or 10 of them. I first met Reshmi the day I joined the 5 th grade in AF School. The 1st meeting was a very memorable one I remember her she looked so elegant and simple and always had a smiling face, I fell for her but never realized what it was just used to admire her then. Then there was class shuffling and we were in 2 different sessions and never met for quite sometime as i was lost trying to understand and adjust to hindi talking friends. There I met Suma (yes my 3rd love) and I liked her bold nature always naughty, i always used to scared t o speak to her she was the best in the class, an overall performer. That continued and finally we became friends and continued on till 10th standard. I used to tell her about Reshmi all the time. You can say destiny brought Reshmi back to my Class and my luck was totally rocking by then in 7th grade. I was always very silent back then only friend I had was a NV Kiran (In literal terms used to envy me for reasons I still don't know) we both used to hang out together sit together and i became quite notorious my scores were dropping and that is when my angel Reshmi was made to sit next to me. Just the fact that she was noticing me made me work harder and started participating in cultural activities like Extempore, Flower arrangement, Rangoli Competition, Fancy Dress and unbelievably I started winning on many of the events, except for sports that is definitely not my cup of tea. I never could win there was always someone better than me when it comes to sports. I wrote poems for her and was almost a small hero in front of her. But sadly when i was on the peak she moved to another school there i lost all the connections with her. Never met her for the next 1 year but always kept looking for her each time i saw a school. Finally found her and told my friends about the crush and it became and suddenly every one was interested in my crush and its stories. I traced her to a nearest Kendriya Vidhyalaya with the help of my friends. During this time I had made all the girls in my class as sisters. Rakshabandan a festival that was scary for other for me the best time as I am the center of all attraction. I was so crazy that my English teacher even asked me ' If i make all the girls my sisters and become an international brother whom will marry ' and my answer used to be 'I will make everybody my sisters except 1 (Reshmi) but for a strange reason, never did i or Suma felt like tying a rakhi. She remained the 1 of the 2 who had not tied me rakhi only other being Reshmi. I was crazy in love at least that is what i believed, at that age I never understood the true meaning of love. The love for her was very mysterious never have ever thought about her in manner of lust never how much ever I try. As time passed I was in 10th grade and had to move to KV the same school as Reshmi was i was very excited that i could see her everyday but little did i know that may be that was the worst mistake i could make. The day I joined it was really thrilling i was hoping to join the same class as her and that happened. I joined during the lunch Break and something very much unanticipated happened. My entry was marked a circle of girls with her standing in the centre of it and everybody smiling and giggling and clapping for me. Never ever have I received such a warm welcome in my whole life!! She had grown taller than me and that was the day I actually could take a stock of things. Life is sometimes not at all fair and I realized it during my KV days I realized the ultimate truth in love, a girl would always prefer someone who is more qualified or a person with a heroic image. My image totally against what is expected to be. I was bad at studies and extra curricular had gone down the drain I was competing with a more talented lot and number to compete where never less. I lost my confidence and started realizing that I am never going to get to marry her and my reaction to it to retaliate to create a negative image. I crazily roamed around her near her house just to see her from a distance. This continued on till 12thgrade. Of the 3 years I was her class mate in 10th, 11th and 12th grade the number of times I spoke to her was just 3 times and that too because our class teacher wanted a book from her or something of that kind. In the 12th grade my scores were so low and never managed to passing Maths, Physics, and Chemistry and as a result I was asked not to write my exams as I had the lowest possibility of passing. But I survived and passed out and the Highlight was it was the first time we had a 100% pass percentage. Everyone was shocked because no expected me to pass. After we all left school I used to wait for her near the bus stop where she would come back from her Entrance exam coaching classes just to see her. I always used to carry a white rose ( I know red rose is for love but she liked white roses) and never give it to her and preserve it in my books. This continued on and one fine day I decided to ask her if she likes me and all she said was "you can be a good friend but nothing else for now" and just to speak to her it took me a lot of courage and was practising for almost 7 years ... I had realized that I had tarnished her name in the school every guy and girl knew about it and nobody would ask her out. Passing was not the end of it as I realized then started the hunt for college but due to financial constraints and my sisters studies I could not manage to get to a regular college but instead joined for BBA Correspondence and though I wasn't so happy but got a chance to see Reshmi on pretext of classes. I would just watch her from away and be satisfied for all wanted to do was watch her smile and so on. But that way I was regular to that college than any other guy studying in the college. I used to be there in the audience for any cultural event in which would participate, eagerly waiting just to see a sneak peek of her. I always would try and make sure that she never would see me looking at her. Slowly I got onto a small part time job and got a bit busy with things. But I fine day met her at our school reunion and she was looking as gorgeous as before, but I was so attracted to her again and that messed things up from permission to chat to no replies. I joined a call centre during those days and was the only one earning and happen to Reshmi and Arjun (my classmate) in the bus and then I realized that they were going around. Arjun, tall at 6feet4 inches and extremely handsome and finally a malayalee... That was the day I decided she wasn't for me and from then she was in touch but not very friendly and she is happy without me to trouble her and left it that way.
Shobha Chandrasekhar (December 2004-January 2006)
I met Shobha after I joined the call centre industry(Transworks) and she took my breath away from the 1st second of the 1st minute of the 1st day and I was lost in her simplicity and the smiling face. Her smile was very special. She came to life as a angel I would say.. Yes I know again an angel!!! The feeling I had for her was something difficult to express. I loved the simple ways of her. Simple dressing, beautiful eyes, long hair neatly set and her ever beautiful and gorgeous smile. I never could take my eye of her when she was around. She was 3 years elder than me but I never even wanted to consider that. The kind of elegance I have seem it on any girl. I was mesmerized in her beauty she was wheatish in complexion, small stature but beautiful looking simple looking girl. I wished I could spend my whole life with her but; a dream always remains a dream. I was average or below average to look at and don't believe anybody would call me handsome out of shape body not because of body fat because I was under weight. I could easily and safely say any average girl would also not want to date me or max want to see me as their brother nothing more. I knew what i was asking for was more, but I was too optimistic. I went on to admire her for hours together and even requested for grave yard shifts while she was there or used extend my shift on the pretext of work just to see her. As usual very true to my tradition i made sisters even in my work life and people usually make girl friends and not sisters( Reaction of my friends : For god sake at least make some girl friends and not sisters ) Yes they could say it but I wanted to be 1 girl guy but yes searching for the perfect match. December 2004 is when I first saw her and now the month of Feb 2005 14th, valentines day, I was so sure of me not being handsome that I decided to test my luck I proposed or rather gave valentine cards and roses to 7 girls on the floor and the response was something I never expected one after the other floor supervisors, Team leads and manager started coming to me asking why I had given them valentine cards. For the first time I realized how life was linked and every girl wants somebody who is settled and every beautiful girl is taken or in a relationship. But yes it was a funny day, some of the managers called me into their cabin to tell about their love and yes I was bit jealous of them. For each of the 6 of the 7 girls I had selected cards that talked about love and proposing, but for Shobha the card I selected was very different it conveyed words of friendship only and it was very simple which she loved it and that was the only card that did not get returned to me. I was happy to see her and she used inspire me to do well at my work and i took it as a positive sign. Now enter Arjun (I know all Arjuns are unlucky for me, they are mallus and handsome too) he to was a simple looking guy but handsome guy and there were many girls who fell for him but he fell for my girl (just to say I am referring to Shobha). It all started as being friends and then best friends. I could only look at her and tell she liked him by the kind of a gleam or shine in her eyes. All I could do was tell her what she felt for him but she never believed and it happened he proposed. She was surprised at my ability to predict it well in advance and took my advice and accepted his proposal. I know it is weird but I never had the confidence to propose her I was right that she would never accept my proposal even as a joke she would reject it. May be I chose the girl forgetting that I am not very handsome. It was during this time that got to know that she was the simple thinning girl as I thought and it turned out that she spent a whooping(Considering Our Monthly salaries were just Rs.7500/) Rs.10000/- on straightening her hair and was interested in modeling just that the right time did not come. She was a more of a beauty conscious girl and my perception of her changed but all that did waiver my feelings for her. I invited Shobha to my Sister's engagement ceremony and I arranged a special cab for her as she was working the night before and could not make it as my house was pretty far and so went personally to pick her up. I spent the whole day trying to take care of her getting what ever she wanted and so on. That was the time after a long time that Suma had come for the ceremony and I guess its the marketing techniques of all parents once your girl crosses the age of 21 start marketing for a prospective guy and the best place to impress a guy's family would a wedding ceremony. Her granny had forced her to come for the ceremony. I could not spend time with her much as I was pre-occupied with Shobha and my office mates. But she got along with my cousin sisters who had come for the function and they were impressed by her. But I was lost in talking to Shobha when everybody was helping my parents in getting this arranged I was irresponsibly talking to her and trying to be around her. Later for which I got blasting form my parents and mom was so furious I had to butter her to cool her down. Hmm... those were the days I was a very trusted friend of hers but I always used to wish if I could marry her... may be I was very immature but could not resist thinking of her. Time passed and then at work we had some complications regarding the project the client wanted to reduce the staff from 450 to around 380 and they were terminating people for mal practices and she was unfortunately one of them. She was bit upset but she was already happy as she did not want to work for a call centre and also in night shifts. She had decided to resign but her resignation was rejected 3 times and was not allowed to quit, but no she had no choice. After she quit we continued to be friends she used to keep telling me about how much she wanted to quit and so on and we became real good chat friends (SMS friends). This continued on and we remained good friends and I did not meet her for almost 2 years. She finally called me one day …. I was happy to get a message from her “I wanna meet you I have surprise for you and it’s a very special Surprise… meet me tomorrow”. I was so I am thinking what could it be? Was she missing me and so on and I was just imagining all happy possibilities. The next day I got ready and was waiting for her near Sagar hospital. She had the ever beautiful smile and I was lost in her smile for few minutes and then I see a card in her card. Then it happened an Invitation for her Wedding (November 2009) in March 09, .... I was hurt but time is the best healer and I knew she could never be mine.
I met her during my AF School days one of the toppers in everything including being naughty. I liked her for her frankness and shared everything with her my love for Reshmi and all that. Our friendship continued on to till very recent. During this while, because of wonderfully bad scores in 12th grade and coupled with the financial issues at home i could not join regular college and joined for BBA through correspondence and was working with Transworks. Our friendship continued and she began telling me about her then boy friend and we used to discuss a lot. I knew of the issues with her boy friend and was kind of a counselor for her. During those times I was not a very broadminded and I know I am not very broad minded even now. She had told me once that she had mentioned that made love and me the narrow minded or small city though as people call, was shocked. According to me love and love making are two different things and love making before marriage was a total taboo. But some how I supported her love affair even tried finding a better job for the guy and so on. Somehow i felt that guy was not planning on continuing the relationship. I tried explaining to her the situations and consequences of this relationship but she was adamant on it. She is known for her determination if she wants something she will get it by whatever means. I said my idea of relationship is that if you love somebody and you find him/her to totally right and then you end up sharing everything and once you share your body and soul then marry the person or preferable marry and get physically involved kind of theory. Little did I realize that that is considered old fashioned, village minded thoughts? I said I will marry the girl I end making love with because I know will not get laid with anybody else other than the person I love. The kind of person i was one thing kept hitting my mind was the pre-martial sex or lovemaking was wrong and what hit me more was she told me they did not take any precautions like condom, etc., that was something that scared me. I lost contact with her for a few months she had told me about a some financial problem she was facing during the last few months as I too was in a lot of problems myself could not help her. On 14th August 2006 I joined Accenture something like a dream come true for me 110% hike on my previous salary and the brand name all that i was overwhelmed. During that time I happened to get in touch with Suma again, and somehow i had developed some feelings for her. I was not sure what it was.... I started speaking to her then met her during a reunion and it kicked off from there ... i fell for her. On day (22nd September 06 11:50) during our regular chat she messaged me "Good night Love you miss you".. This i took as a chance and asked her “Do you Love me more or miss me more". The reply was very unclear and i kept asking her and finally we proposed. We proposed at 2:30 AM 23rd September 06. We kept speaking and that continued on to 6:35 am in the morning and i could not believe i was not tired nor sleepy and was so energetic. I could not believe how fast it happened, and was unable to sleep. I was never so happy and felt like i found my perfect match. We kept speaking for next few months night and day whenever we go time we used to talk in the office, in the washroom, while in the cab, at night only time we were not talking is when we were messaging each other. It seemed like staying with out talking to her was just impossible. Time was moving so fast just talking to her and then came a time when we decided to tell each other about our past and that was something I was worried about, but we felt to understand each other it was vital to know each others past. In those discussions i told her about Reshmi, Shobha and Rachana. Rachana was a relation that I was in for a very few days but I realized she was just flirting and my possessive nature ended up in a break up. The break up was pretty dramatized I saw her with some other guys in a compromising position and it was difficult for me take it and there it ended. After few days of talking or so she was coming back to Bangalore for Gandhi Jayanthi and that was the 1st time we were meeting after proposing, the excitement so much that i could not wait to meet her and so I started waiting for her in the bus stand from 2:00 AM for a bus coming at 5:30AM and the wait continued till 7:00AM as the bus was late and could not reach her on phone. Then finally we met I had a small banquet of flowers for her and card confessing my love for her. We went for a walk in the near by park and that is where for the first I kissed a girl and could not believe the feeling i was flying and on cloud nine, wow I could never forget that. We had to leave then as it was already 2 hours we spent talking in the park and it just seemed as 10 minutes. The same evening she came to my house when my sister had gone to clinic and gave me another kiss and that was something I was not expecting. I could not believe the feel it was even better than the 1st kiss. I realized how bold she was when it came to romancing. Our love continued on to explore new heights and i got a special birthday present on my birthday she came down to Bangalore and for the first time we spent a night together in each others arms inside a room and then late night we went for a small walk in the brigade road. I have never spent such a time with any girls till now. I loved the feel and did not want to let go, but both of us had to go , I had told my parents that i am going to office and she had told her bus will reach in the morning and by 9:00 we were back to our homes. As she was studying for MBBS in Mangalore she could not come to
I am responsible for the condition I am in; if I had thought and analyzed the situation then we might not have done this kind of errors and may be we would have been married. Now I stand here and holding 3 invitations and ask myself should I go for the weddings or not. But I guess I will beat the blues of my relationship and move on. No use complaining there are a hundred things I could have done differently and another hundred things she could have done differently but all those don’t matter any more. I may never know if the love we shared was true or just fantasy or the times spent together was all part of lie… but I know one thing now love and money mixed will end up in disaster and a person who loves you unconditionally will still continue to love and respect you even if don’t get even the minutest of the gifts all they require is gifts of love from heart. The 3 women in my life have taught me on how a friend, colleague and partner should be gauged. Life never stops at anything and what you want to achieve is completely on you and not on any other’s shoulders. In relationships if it is made for you then the person will return to you even if she goes thousands of miles away. Love your loved ones with your heart and if the love is true then even god will bring things together for you.
Love comes in many phases, some are true love but finding it is the most difficult part and some are love due to attraction or what is generally known as infatuation.
I have not been able to decide whether to go for the wedding or not but may be I should, just to make sure the ones I loved once are happy. Sometimes happiness of others brings us more happiness and never loose track of your life. You own your life but there are others who depend on you and you do not have right to play with others life. I guess I need to go to invite to my wedding the 4th Wedding in January 2010. All are welcome....
A story by Murali.....
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P.S. This is just a Blog and is a work of fiction and the characters are inspired and the incidents mentioned here are fictitious.
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